jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
