What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
