Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
