Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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