**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
