I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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