Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
