I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
