I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize