Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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