My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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