After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
