Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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