i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
this is an emotional support booty call
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
