i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
