he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
