Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
