I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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