I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize