Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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