Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
