So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
