Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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