he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
