I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize