Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
