DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
