I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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