Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
