I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
