I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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