I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Do vagina's smell?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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