Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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