Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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