what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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