I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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