also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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