You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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