Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
