Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
