My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
