i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just had sex on a roof
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
These tits shall not be calmed
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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