ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
