Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We smell like vodka and hangover
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
