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glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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