i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just found puke in my bra..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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