You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
