You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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