It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
