This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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