Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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