The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
