I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
