I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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