last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
