Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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