Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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