My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
