Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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