You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
